One heart at a time
Darlene Tando, LCSW
Darlene Tando, LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a private practice office near Hillcrest/Balboa Park, where I offer therapy with adult individuals, couples, family, and play therapy for children. I earned my Bachelors Degree in Psychology at the University of California at Santa Barbara and my Masters in Social Work at San Diego State University. I am a member of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) and the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH).
Prior to private practice, I worked at a Residential Treatment Facility for severely emotionally disturbed children, and then at the Naval Medical Center San Diego, offering family and individual therapy to dependents of navy personnel.
I specialize in therapy with children, and utilize a variety of techniques to help them engage in the therapeutic process. I have worked with many children with abuse histories, emotional/behavioral problems, and numerous families facing overwhelming stressors. In addition to helping children recover from abuse, I am also proficient in working with children with social skills problems or delays, ADHD, and anger issues. I assist parents in learning parenting techniques to meet their child’s particular needs. Family therapy is available to those who would like all family members to be involved in healing or changing problematic patterns of interacting with each other.
Although I specialize in working with children, I also work with adult individuals and couples. I find that my warm and empathic approach that works so well with children also helps to create a safe, therapeutic environment for adults which promotes progress in therapy. I have worked with individuals who are struggling with anxiety, depression, life changes, and relationship problems.
I believe in the healing power of laughter and focusing on the strengths of the client. My services with adults can range from short-term problem- solving interventions to more in-depth psychotherapy or relationship exploration.
In this section, you will be able to explore:
Tando Therapy Team
My practice consists of myself and many other fabulous clinicians, both licensed and unlicensed. Unlicensed clinicians, or associates, are supervised by licensed clinicians on the team.
The Conscious Parent’s Guide to Gender Identity: A Mindful Approach to Embracing Your Child’s Authentic Self
F + W Media, Inc. has a series called “The Conscious Parent’s Guide To…” about a number of different topics. They wanted to publish one on gender identity, and asked me to write it! I was happy to have the opportunity to write about how to best support gender expansive kids to a more wide-reaching audience. I truly hope it helps a lot of families.
The book is ideal for parents/guardians of gender expansive kids, but could also be useful for extended family members, therapists, teachers; anyone involved in a gender expansive child’s life. Click here to order your copy: The Conscious Parent’s Guide to Gender Identity: A Mindful Approach to Embracing Your Child’s Authentic Self.
In addition to the overview in Chapter 1 about conscious parenting (standard in all the “Conscious Parent’s Guide” books, there are ways to incorporate being a mindful, conscious parent throughout the book. This is so much more than just being “present”, it’s about recognizing your little human as a separate being, with their own unique will and spirit. I write about how to best connect with your child in order to be most receptive to what they are trying to tell you.
I write about the differences between gender and sex, gender identity and sexual orientation, gender expression vs. gender identity, and what gender “expansiveness” really is. This not only helps those involved in a gender expansive child’s life understand these concepts, but can help knowing how to explain them to others.
I discuss the concept of getting to know one’s child for who they are from the beginning, rather than making assumptions that later need to be shifted or undone. I write about parenting gender expansive children, and the difference between being transgender and “just” gender expansive. In the book you will find practical tips for interacting with and advocating for your gender-expansive and/or transgender child, while learning how to trust yourself and appreciate life at the same time.
Later in the book there is more specific information for families who have a child in need of social or medical transition: how/when to navigate interventions, coping with outside influences/reactions, siblings, extended family, schools, etc. There is a specific chapter dedicated to “helping your gender-expansive child with teasing”, based on the concepts I present at gender conferences. There is also a specific chapter dedicated to dysphoria, which is important for everyone involved in a transgender child’s life to understand.
The appendixes include some resources I hope you will find helpful, including ways of looking at natal sex/gender identity/gender expression/sexual orientation on spectrums, or on more of a fluid shape. There is a list of “Classroom Rules” to help classrooms promote diversity. There is also a worksheet for children who may need some help in understanding when a friend or loved one is going through transition. Last but not least, there is a sample letter from parents informing their loved ones about their child’s social transition.
Let me know how you like the book, and leave an honest review on Amazon!